1
00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:06,800
Just the guy I wanted to see.

2
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,460
Forget it, Laura. I'm not going out with
any of your skanky friends.

3
00:00:12,260 --> 00:00:13,260
What's that I hear?

4
00:00:13,980 --> 00:00:16,460
Ah, yes, a sigh of relief from all of my
friends.

5
00:00:18,720 --> 00:00:21,820
What do you want, Laura?

6
00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,420
Well, look, my sorority's having a
charity fundraiser, and we're getting

7
00:00:25,420 --> 00:00:27,760
guys to auction off kisses to the
highest female bidder.

8
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:30,020
Stefan's gonna do it. What about you?
Ooh!

9
00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:44,980
here i recognize my voice that there are
certain girls yes of low

10
00:00:44,980 --> 00:00:49,300
intelligence and impaired eyes i don't
have enough money to bid on anything you

11
00:00:49,300 --> 00:00:52,060
know i'm hiding on them and these lips
are gonna raise big money for your

12
00:00:52,060 --> 00:00:58,740
sorority i'm here if you need me that is
if you need any more hot guys

13
00:00:58,740 --> 00:01:04,360
i have lips my lips are sexy

14
00:01:08,880 --> 00:01:09,880
It's sexier than I thought.

15
00:01:30,460 --> 00:01:31,820
Hey, sweetheart.

16
00:01:32,660 --> 00:01:35,980
Guess what? I have such wonderful news.

17
00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:39,630
tell me what it is and we'll both dance.

18
00:01:43,050 --> 00:01:44,350
Oh, I got a promotion.

19
00:02:16,290 --> 00:02:17,390
No, no, no.

20
00:02:18,090 --> 00:02:19,650
No, no. Congratulations.

21
00:02:21,870 --> 00:02:23,070
I need a shower.

22
00:02:29,530 --> 00:02:30,530
Whee!

23
00:02:41,370 --> 00:02:47,370
Mara, earlier today... When you invited
Ed O to participate in your sorority

24
00:02:47,370 --> 00:02:51,170
auction? Well, I couldn't help but
notice that you didn't ask me.

25
00:02:53,150 --> 00:02:56,850
Oh, uh, well, Steve... Wait a minute.
Let me finish.

26
00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:58,090
Okay.

27
00:02:58,310 --> 00:03:01,530
Now, truth be told, I was devastated.

28
00:03:02,810 --> 00:03:05,650
I couldn't figure out why you would try
to hurt my feelings.

29
00:03:06,670 --> 00:03:08,450
Well, Steve, I wasn't... Why not then?

30
00:03:08,910 --> 00:03:09,910
Get ahead of me.

31
00:03:11,090 --> 00:03:12,990
You weren't trying to hurt my feelings.

32
00:03:13,489 --> 00:03:16,710
You were trying to spare my feelings,
right?

33
00:03:18,290 --> 00:03:21,910
Well, I was just afraid that if you were
in the auction and no one bid on you,

34
00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:23,790
you might be humiliated.

35
00:03:24,590 --> 00:03:25,590
And you were right.

36
00:03:25,930 --> 00:03:26,930
I would have been.

37
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:30,070
But I want you to invite me anyway.

38
00:03:31,350 --> 00:03:32,350
Why?

39
00:03:32,790 --> 00:03:35,390
Well, I've always been comfortable with
myself.

40
00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:45,720
I have been suggesting that for years.

41
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:47,620
Often quite loudly.

42
00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,360
I know.

43
00:03:49,420 --> 00:03:51,400
And finally, I'm gonna listen.

44
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:54,680
Yep.

45
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:59,140
No longer is it I gotta be me.

46
00:04:01,420 --> 00:04:05,720
From now on, it's I gotta be Beth.

47
00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:10,880
That's good for you, Steve.

48
00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:12,120
Mm -hmm.

49
00:04:20,779 --> 00:04:21,779
I could be better.

50
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:29,700
Hi, honey.

51
00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:31,700
Hi. Want to celebrate my promotion?

52
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,000
Here,

53
00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:36,620
you do the honors.

54
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,840
Looks expensive.

55
00:04:41,500 --> 00:04:42,620
It is, a little.

56
00:04:43,280 --> 00:04:46,980
But I suppose we can afford it now with
your new promotion.

57
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:54,490
Honey, I thought we could snuggle up
here on the couch, sip a little bubbly,

58
00:04:54,490 --> 00:04:56,410
then retire early.

59
00:04:57,310 --> 00:05:01,930
Sweetheart, I can't open a champagne if
you're crawling all over me.

60
00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:04,310
Sorry. It's okay.

61
00:05:14,170 --> 00:05:16,670
Carl, what's the matter?

62
00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,240
Harriet, you want to know what's the
matter?

63
00:05:24,880 --> 00:05:26,300
Well, I'm going to tell you what's the
matter.

64
00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:28,880
You're emasculating me, Harriet.

65
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:31,800
Emasculating?

66
00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:36,740
What? Just because I'm making more money
than you, Carl?

67
00:05:37,140 --> 00:05:38,140
That's right.

68
00:05:38,180 --> 00:05:41,780
Harriet, the person who makes the most
money wears the pants in the family.

69
00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,800
Well, you're making more money than me
now.

70
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:47,420
So, you're going to start wearing the
pants.

71
00:05:53,130 --> 00:05:55,450
is absolutely ridiculous. Harry, we're a
team.

72
00:05:55,690 --> 00:05:57,730
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, sir.

73
00:05:58,890 --> 00:05:59,890
Uh -uh.

74
00:06:00,010 --> 00:06:01,430
Not team, Harriet.

75
00:06:02,210 --> 00:06:03,210
Crew.

76
00:06:04,230 --> 00:06:05,230
Crew, Harriet.

77
00:06:05,970 --> 00:06:07,790
And I was the captain of the crew.

78
00:06:25,610 --> 00:06:26,610
Precious swabbing.

79
00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:30,710
But now, you're the captain, Harriet.

80
00:06:32,310 --> 00:06:34,250
New captain's going up to her quarters.

81
00:06:36,410 --> 00:06:41,350
But until a new swabbing learns the true
meaning of teamwork, he's going to be

82
00:06:41,350 --> 00:06:43,250
bucking his butt down here in the brig.

83
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:00,780
Good evening, everyone.

84
00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:06,160
Tonight's speech therapy class will
concentrate on the... Stop it!

85
00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:12,100
At a moment, old doc. I just need a
moment to get situated.

86
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:11,140
I am living proof that the techniques
you're about to learn really work. I

87
00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:12,300
to have a terrible stutter.

88
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:14,320
That's downright inspirational.

89
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,980
Why don't we start by introducing
ourselves and describing our problem?

90
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:20,560
Yeah. Who'd like to go first?

91
00:08:22,420 --> 00:08:23,420
Roy Simpson?

92
00:08:25,580 --> 00:08:26,720
I have a list.

93
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,540
And our second thought, that cheese...

94
00:08:38,700 --> 00:08:39,700
I'm Pepe Perez.

95
00:08:39,799 --> 00:08:42,400
And I spit when I speak.

96
00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,640
Well, I'm Sheila Rockport.

97
00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:54,420
And my voice is too deep.

98
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:19,870
bachelor is in this girl's humble
opinion the coolest guy in all of

99
00:09:19,870 --> 00:09:24,270
please give it up for the one the only
step on her tail

100
00:09:24,270 --> 00:09:40,790
ladies

101
00:09:40,790 --> 00:09:46,290
ladies ladies now This event is for such
a good cause that I wanted to make sure

102
00:09:46,290 --> 00:09:47,290
I was ready.

103
00:09:48,050 --> 00:09:51,890
So Laura and I have spent the last three
days warming up these lips.

104
00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:59,050
Since Stephon is my guy, I want to open
and close the bidding at $50.

105
00:09:59,970 --> 00:10:00,970
$60!

106
00:10:03,590 --> 00:10:05,150
She know me think you didn't understand.

107
00:10:06,230 --> 00:10:07,230
Stephon is my man.

108
00:10:07,490 --> 00:10:09,970
So we'll just close the bidding at $65.

109
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,060
bachelor has been called the prince of
love.

110
00:11:32,560 --> 00:11:35,560
Yeah, well, he's the only one who calls
himself that.

111
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,540
Please give it up for my brother, Eddie
Winslow.

112
00:12:09,230 --> 00:12:13,430
My name is Eddie Winslow, better known
as the Prince of Love.

113
00:12:14,910 --> 00:12:15,910
That's right.

114
00:12:16,250 --> 00:12:19,250
And if you buy my kisses, you'll feel
like royalty.

115
00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:23,590
So, dig deep, ladies, if you want to
swing from these lifts.

116
00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:31,710
I think out of courtesy, we should let
Eddie's girlfriend, Greta, make the

117
00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:32,710
bid.

118
00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:38,670
I'll give any girl... $25 to take him
off my hands.

119
00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:42,170
$25?

120
00:12:42,850 --> 00:12:44,190
I'll start the bidding at 30.

121
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:30,870
Nice dress.

122
00:13:31,330 --> 00:13:33,290
Somewhere there's a butt naked clown.

123
00:14:36,780 --> 00:14:37,780
I can't help it, Hamlet.

124
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:41,500
No, get some clothes.

125
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:49,120
Harriet!

126
00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,240
Harriet! Shh.

127
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,280
You'll wake the whole house, Carl. Hey,
sweetheart, could you come down for a

128
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:00,380
sec? I'd like to talk to you.

129
00:15:01,180 --> 00:15:02,180
Come on.

130
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,640
Come on. To the left. Straight ahead.
Come on.

131
00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:09,520
Come on, there you go.

132
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:14,360
Concert parking?

133
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:18,240
Well, yep, this is my new extra job. I'm
moonlighting.

134
00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:19,640
Oh, really?

135
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:20,919
Yes, really.

136
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:25,840
I am one of 25 folks who gets to show
you your parking spot when you come to

137
00:15:25,840 --> 00:15:26,840
Tom Jones.

138
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:30,580
It's not unusual to be loved by anyone.

139
00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,940
It's not unusual to have fun with
anyone.

140
00:15:36,460 --> 00:15:39,080
There's a reason why Tom sings and you
park cars.

141
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,820
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute. See,
you don't understand.

142
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:49,000
With my regular police salary and the
money I make from this cool new job, I

143
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,580
make $23 .48 more a year than you.

144
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,880
Captain Winslow is at the helm again.

145
00:15:58,840 --> 00:15:59,840
I see.

146
00:16:00,940 --> 00:16:03,420
Well, I guess in that case...

147
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:07,360
I should think about whether or not I
want to get off the ship.

148
00:16:08,420 --> 00:16:12,300
Maybe you can just drop me off at the
next port.

149
00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:15,360
Wait a minute, wait a minute. What are
you talking about?

150
00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:20,480
Carl, our salaries should not be a
source of competition.

151
00:16:21,420 --> 00:16:22,860
We're supposed to be a team.

152
00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,540
Nobody's captain, nobody's swabbing.

153
00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,380
Carl, we're supposed to be first mates.

154
00:16:29,580 --> 00:16:30,580
Teammates.

155
00:16:36,650 --> 00:16:37,890
Well, you're right, sweetheart.

156
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:42,990
We are, Artie.

157
00:16:44,710 --> 00:16:46,510
You for me and me for you.

158
00:16:48,290 --> 00:16:50,030
You're a pain in the butt.

159
00:16:50,690 --> 00:16:54,010
But I'm your pain in the butt.

160
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:58,310
All right.

161
00:16:59,030 --> 00:17:04,450
Our next bachelor is... Well, he's
definitely one of a kind.

162
00:17:05,480 --> 00:17:07,500
And he just recently gave himself a
makeover.

163
00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:10,420
Please give it up for Mr. Stephen Q.
Urkel.

164
00:18:43,180 --> 00:18:44,180
build our way back up.

165
00:19:39,950 --> 00:19:40,950
Hold my kiss now.

166
00:19:43,190 --> 00:19:44,190
You do?